# LIFE

I feel like lately its so chaotic . I am not the type that really care about people thoughts and views about me . My rule of thumb for making friends , is only to have true genuine friend only . This period in my life i feel like i have been more conscious about me and myself as well as others too much. From this I guess you pretty much pick up that i have some trouble with my "friend". I have no idea what the hell of a phase i am going through but i will have faith in my own heart that i will grow through this .

I will come out stronger from this. I can not force people to see the good in me . If they cant see it its their lost , i will same my care and trust to someone that deserve it. Still, i hope one day i am able to find my soul mate. Soulmate as in friends that can connect in a deeper meaning a real relationship. Rather something superficial , something true that can last through the hardship of time. To add i am still not ready for romantic relationship , so i guess i will wait for the right time. When both my heart and soul is mature enough to have a romantic relationship. Anyways i am going off point , but my point is that someday i will reach there ; my own personal milestone.

JUST YOU WAIT !!!

 The goal for now is to focus on myself . Exploring and finding my own identity in this somewhat chaotic world of mine. You know maybe this could be a new self discovery path to growth and maturity. I sincerely hope i am right. For now i am seeing the school counsellor , and sorting everything . Things have been crazy. For starters, my grandma who literally raised me have terminal cancer.

I know it in my heart that life have it up and down. Right now, I just want to go through all this with a calm and open mind. It is a natural course of action that life will go through . Right now i try to treasure her days her with me the best i can , the best i could. After writing this i feel much better. Just a moment ago i was feeling down , now i think i got my strength back.

GO KAHYEE!!!!

It is truly strange whenever i feel frustrated , writing always able to release this negative energy.

GO GURL POWER !!!

ANYWAYS, New years are coming sooon. This sista really need her holidays but before that i have to slay the dragon called project. I am sure i will get through this just fine , like always i need to have good mindset and put my mind to do it. It is going to be fine !!  I CAN DO IT !!!!

With love Kahyee :)

-katherine ho kahyee

Update , and other stuff <♡♥

So this is an update i guess...i have been thinking of doing reviews of products that i have used , that are my fravourite or that i dislike  . It will probably be up soon .Also i will also be uploading randomn post of randomn stuff , well its not like i have not upload randomn post .

This is happening because i will be using this app that just give me randomn topics to write on . Sort of like practising my writing skills , because my tense and grammer are crappy and by practising i hope i can improve on my writings skills , plus with this  i can write understand more of myself , so yeah <♡

Enough of updates , recently my mother has been obsessing over the fact that i have to sleep early . Honestly sometimes i wish i could but the truth is i am a night owl.

In the  day im like totally on full blown procrastinator state, unmotivatednat all .  Just do not feel like doing anything other than sit in front of my computer watch english television shows , runningman , manga , anime , eat , and stare blank into the openess . Of course that is when im at home , though at school i am quite focus . ;0

Anyways at night /evening its different , i feel like i can concentrade better focus more and think better , its quiteter too. Often then not , i start my homework at around evening , at times when i have tons of homework or i got to revise for test . It usually drags to 1am to 2 am ...

Tee hee..

I know it is all excuses :p

I understand what she getting at though , i know staying up late but...you know :p its like smoking ,i guess. You know its bad but you still ended up smoking  ..heh heh
Just to be clear , i am not smoking but my grandma smokes so i kind of understand . Plus i hate the smell of smoke , i have been living with my grandma from time to time . So , yeah ....

Then again i will try to sleep early , probably ..

Well , i am going to have my n level soon pretty nervous about that too . So will upload as much as i can before that period when i have absolutetly no time at all . For my future i have a direction where i want to go .

I love books especially this that belongs in the fantasy romance ,supernature genre , novel (english or chinese ) and i love writing definatly not a journalist or a news broadcaster.  I dont think i have the material for it but i want to have a job that is ralated to books or writing .

In my previous post , i did mention that i wanted to enter teacher , for now the option remains open but i am still thinking if i have the patient and passion for teaching like i thought i have . I may or may not have it, still figuring it out . One thing for sure is that i want a job where i enjoy and are  comfortable in .

So i got an idea where i am going , let see where life take us , for the time being i will workhard ^^

Fighting !!!

-katherinehokahyee

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Myself at age seven

I do not remember much about myself at age seven but there is this one incident i probably never forget . From what i recall at that time it was my first day of primary school , i was primary one . It was a combination of nervousness and anticipation , everything went by in a blur .

Except for that incident that happen in the toilet , i was washing my hands after i have finish my business . When suddenly out of no where a pair of hands grab me by the shoulder and pull me into the stalls . It was a indian girl that was obviously taller than be probably a primary 6 student , she push me against the side of the toilet stall position herself at the door blocking my only escape route .

She said : "give me your money ."
I did the exactly opposite of what normal people would do when i reply "sorry , i cant " thinking back ,Surprisngly she did not beat the shit out of me . If i were the robber i probably do just that , but then again the fear of being beaten or even the idea of being beaten have not cross my mind when i refused her. Well i was a slow kid back then .

She begged "please , just give me your money , i have no money "
she went on to show me her empty wallet to back up herself , which was just straight up strange .
"Sorry i cant "i knew that if i gave her my one dollar , i would have to starve . Back then my family was not well of . My pocket money was just one dollar enough for a bowl of porriage and that was my lunch .

Just then a voice eco , i dont who that voice belongs to , let just say my memory was a little fuzzy , but it probably belongs to my teacher that came looking for me . It manage to scare the indian girl who ran away as soon as she heard the voice and i was saved by the bell , literally or should i say save by the voice .

Though we did take it up to the principal but the girl was never caught . I wonder how is that indian girl doing , i wonder as i wrote this if she will remember me if we were to stood face to face ...

And to think i was all hyped up for my first day of school , and then i was robbed . Perfect ...

By katherinehokahyee

Posted via Blogaway

Posted via Blogaway

It have been forever since i posted but quite proud of myself for not just abandoning the blog writing and i am personally guilty of wanting to start a journal and then giving up afterwards ..

I feel that what really motivated me to actually write and stuff is when i'm inspire or in a very emotional place etc. pissed / hot mess :P

Anyways i also write poems in my thumblr account : http://www.tumblr.com/blog/iluvandy

 

lately , i have been good namely not bad , been trying out different things . I guess 2014 will be a start of something new and special , well that s what i felt like anyways ..

Guess what i'm the vice - chair of the class which is kinda special and peculiar from what i normally do which is what i wanted . I normally tend to shy away from leadership roles or any responsibility in class namely because i am lazy and think that managing people is pain in the ass /troublesome which i still do but working on a different mindset .

I want to try new thing , take up new roles have a feel , a experience of being a leader . Smile a little more , learn to love myself , treat myself right and to believe in what i am ,  not what people think i should be . Its what a new year does to you , make you want to move on .

Art has been bugging me the coursework A.K.A the preparatory study is stressful and doesn't really allow much of the moving-on-your-own-pace , which i am used to when i do art .

I mean come on art needs time ! -p

oh , i have recently been to a musical where my school organized and produced it was generally okay but meh for my taste . so we also have lots maybe not lote but a few i was thinking to stay of those performance since after the musical my wallet is feeling lighter than before but well seeing as my friend -classmate -sorta best friend are like urging us to buy the ticket for the band performance and i have never really been to a band performance .

so i was like hmmm okay sure , why not :O plus my teacher are kinda the band teacher/ instructor so gotta support :Lately , i have been good namely not bad , been trying out different things . I guess 2014 will be a start of something new and special , well that s what i felt like anyways ..

Guess what i'm the vice - chair of the class which is kinda special and peculiar from what i normally do which is what i wanted . I normally tend to shy away from leadership roles or any responsibility in class namely because i am lazy and think that managing people is pain in the ass /troublesome which i still do but working on a different mindset .

As always love yourself , remember that out of the million sorta sperms you won the race and you are freaking awesome , amazing and unique :P

-katherine ho kahyee

hey hey ~

Oh ..the holidays are ending soon and i have still have mountains and ...rivers ?[ does that make sense ..? o(~ ~ ) o  ] of homework :P

lately , I'm really not in my perfect condition due to the come and go headaches and dizziness that have been occurring  . Before i forget i promise a certain someone that i will follow them but end up putting it aside ...

sorrie >< Hehehe:P

Basically, my holidays aren't all that fun and amazing so its just boring plain old things that kinda specifically includes me being  stranded on a chair doing my hair . well  re-bonding my hair and getting a hair cut if you're so inclined on nano details :P

The hair cut was fine and everything but i think my hair is just too dammed straight not the natural straight im looking for but i think after a few washes ill be perfect .
 Anyways ( i kept saying anyways -_- )  , lately i have been helping out at my moms shop cause she is low on manpower plus not feeling well too :O

I was think of writing a longer post actually but ahem .. i realized that my life is too freaking boring and to write my day only required around 100 plus word which thus make me feel pathetic 。。。

As always love yourself
-katherine :) WINK ***

First ever movie review on the 47 ronin - read at your own risk

Overall , I actually think the movie itself give us a inside on the minds of a samurai , on what lengths the samurai would go to , to protect its honour. 

And i was actually  confused  , because i have don't really understand how honour is protected thought seppuku , because to me seppuku is no different than you hanging yourself ,cutting your wrist , etc  but to the samurai its totally different .

I wonder if i were in the movie what i would do , would i just stand there and watch the man i love defend his so called honour by killing himself ...?

Anyway, I respect their culture , indeed it gave me another view on samurai and that the so called  " samurai " that is threatening the public by waging his "katana" is an insult to the culture and the honour that samurai so dearly wanted to uphold .

Oh and school holidays is ending in about ten freakin days ..I havent finish my holiday homework  :P I gotta buck up and finish them !!!! why does holidays always seems so short ...ugh !!!

p.p.s love yourself and prayed that i finished the work on time , god bless me

sexuality education

I honestly feel more than ever that schools should educate student more on sexuality education especially schools in singapore . I am a student in singapore .  Although , schools have educate students how period works , why boys have wet dreams . why is it important to have save sex and the varies transmitted disease you could get through exchanging bodily fluid .

Yet , it failed to educate students of how our body works, like how our vaginal is an eco -system that could clean itself and soap is not needed that it would only upset the balance if soap was involve  . That the darked -coloured period blood is actually old blood trapped in the uterus from your last cycle . That the translucent fluid discharge is actually my virginal cleaning itself , all these i did not know .

I was extremely terrified that i had contacted some STD though i have no sexual experience , all because i did not know , i know little of my body except for the varies STDs that the school have rapidly told us   . And the school main purpose is to educate us , not traumatize us into fearing sex or of our bodily functions . i honestly hope from the bottom of my heart that  maybe in the near future that the government would be more open to being sex positive .And teaching us more knowledge about our bodily function .

Last but not least , love yourself :)
-katherinehokahyee