WHO AM I ?

This question is quite hard. Sometimes even i forget my identity as myself. I know it sounds strange how can you forget you’re self. you are constantly with you. It might come as strange but sometimes you get a little lost in this playground called life. It is hard to separate yourself sometimes from everything that is going on. Not to mention, you have so much people around constantly telling you that you are this you are that.

So the me right now is going to answer that question, maybe i occasionally would still get lost. Yet, there are still things that remain in this ever changing state. I am a girl with a love for books and novel. I like to be in my own world, to think to wonder. More in details about myself i love television shows, movies and the list goes on. 

Anything that have a story is basically my love. Did i mention i have big loves for vampire dairies i can watch the whole season 1- 6 in one go again and i will still be entertain. Speaking of which i waiting for season 7 episode 3 to come out …. 

Mannnn…

I LOVE LOVE VAMPIRE DAIRIES!!!

What else about me…

I treat relationship seriously. To me, i want a relationship that is genuine that is something of substance. Not just something that is for fun. I know i sound like someone over forty years of age, but i find something in true relationship; nice and precious. Even if we may not end up together at least you know we tried. At the very least we love from the bottom of our hearts. Maybe my views of love is too innocent, too young, too immature but for now this is what i hold dear.

Oh and i might be crazy… said my precious devil-like baby sister

Yeah .. Amazing sisterly love we have there. Anyways i have always find myself filled with contradiction. I can be this confident girl that is daring and willing to try anything while on the other hand i am this girl that is not good with people, introvert. Just wanting to spend time alone with myself. 

Strange, Is it ?

I think so too. Sometimes i also feel like i am a little bit insane. Lets be real, i feel like majority of the population are partly insane in some way. 

Right....Or maybe it is just me ...

Anyways with love kahyee

Do you ever have those days that you just feel so exhausted to the point which makes you want to do nothing. Just stare at the emptiness in front of you. The feeling that we all know  so well , the feeling of being lethargic. 

There is always something at the back of my head that nags me to get my shit together. So i did , i took a shower and get myself together. I think this is the case of me not having enough alone time with myself. Which brings me this solution. Tomorrow i am going to have a loner party.  The only one that is invited is me myself and i .

Moving on i just decided to google questions that i should asked myself. At the top of the list is a link that states, the thirty question that i need to start asking myself. I think it is pretty interesting list. So i decided that i would asked them to myself while writing my answer over here.

It should be a pretty fun experience to have. 

Recently, my counsellor  have invited me to create an artwork so that they can put up on the roadshow. I have decide that i wanted to accept it and see how it goes for me. Maybe i can learn new things about myself. It have been so long since i have taken up art again. I hope i can produce something fun, so it would not be a humiliation to my art student background. 

we will see what we get from there.

Till next time , love kahyee

# LIFE

I feel like lately its so chaotic . I am not the type that really care about people thoughts and views about me . My rule of thumb for making friends , is only to have true genuine friend only . This period in my life i feel like i have been more conscious about me and myself as well as others too much. From this I guess you pretty much pick up that i have some trouble with my "friend". I have no idea what the hell of a phase i am going through but i will have faith in my own heart that i will grow through this .

I will come out stronger from this. I can not force people to see the good in me . If they cant see it its their lost , i will same my care and trust to someone that deserve it. Still, i hope one day i am able to find my soul mate. Soulmate as in friends that can connect in a deeper meaning a real relationship. Rather something superficial , something true that can last through the hardship of time. To add i am still not ready for romantic relationship , so i guess i will wait for the right time. When both my heart and soul is mature enough to have a romantic relationship. Anyways i am going off point , but my point is that someday i will reach there ; my own personal milestone.

JUST YOU WAIT !!!

 The goal for now is to focus on myself . Exploring and finding my own identity in this somewhat chaotic world of mine. You know maybe this could be a new self discovery path to growth and maturity. I sincerely hope i am right. For now i am seeing the school counsellor , and sorting everything . Things have been crazy. For starters, my grandma who literally raised me have terminal cancer.

I know it in my heart that life have it up and down. Right now, I just want to go through all this with a calm and open mind. It is a natural course of action that life will go through . Right now i try to treasure her days her with me the best i can , the best i could. After writing this i feel much better. Just a moment ago i was feeling down , now i think i got my strength back.

GO KAHYEE!!!!

It is truly strange whenever i feel frustrated , writing always able to release this negative energy.

GO GURL POWER !!!

ANYWAYS, New years are coming sooon. This sista really need her holidays but before that i have to slay the dragon called project. I am sure i will get through this just fine , like always i need to have good mindset and put my mind to do it. It is going to be fine !!  I CAN DO IT !!!!

With love Kahyee :)

-katherine ho kahyee